Life As It Stands...

(Originally written on November 18, 2007)


I’m a little worried. Coming back home this week from college has been a bit of a reality check for me. Only eighteen years old, but I feel so much older. I feel as though life is quickly passing my by, that sometimes the only sure thing in life is that time will pass. As I’ve looked around, people that I thought were such little kids are growing up, becoming adult men and women. Parents are looking older.The seasons are changing. The television shows a world that I don’t know. Home doesn’t feel like home anymore. It feels like everything I’ve ever known is changing, and I’m helpless to stop it. Or maybe I’m changing. Looking back on what all has happened through the last few years is amazing. I’ve taken so many turns, made so many choices that have developed me into the person I am today. I can’t say that I am disappointed in where I am in this journey, but I can feel in my very center that I have yet to become the man God has ordained me to be. It feels that as hard as I try to become that man, the further and further I get from it.Or maybe I’m getting closer and closer, and the trials are getting harder and harder. Who really knows anymore.I want to be a man like David. A man after God’s own heart, a man who was not perfect, but never gave up his hope in his King. He tried and tried so many times to get it right, to hit the mark, but continually fell to the side. But even facing certain death at the hands of his enemies and sometimes even his friends, he always praised God. PRAISED Him, the one who put David in the position that he was in. How does it look to have an unwavering faith like that?It looks beautiful. I want my life to look like that. But it seems that no matter how much I try to take on that faith, I get so very close, yet fall so very short.As they say, close is only good in horseshoes, hand grenades, and government work. Nowhere in there is the Christian’s walk. God calls us to be men and women of virtue. Of unwavering faith and commitment. Christ’s life gives us an example of what that life looks like, even in the midst of betrayel and certian death. God calls us this standard. He doesn’t expect us to be perfect. But he does expect us to pefect at trying. Of course we fall. Of course we screw it all up. But without these things in our lives, where would that feeling of salvation and love and acceptance come from? Would we really need love from God if we never screwed up? Life is hell, but it sure is beautiful.Amen