Monday, July 19, 2010
Sunday, May 30, 2010
Saturday, May 29, 2010
Saturday, April 24, 2010
No You're Not Dude, Don't Lie...
As the weeks have wound down here, I've begun to spend a lot of time looking back and thinking on the last three years of college. Three crazy, quick years.
When I came here to SBU, I wasn't entirely sure what I was doing. I still remember laying in that bed on the first night in Landon room 330. I honestly had no idea why I was even here to begin with. For some reason, when I stepped foot onto the campus that snowy day in February it just felt right. As though a divine hand was resting on my back and a ethereal voice was whispering "Yes...."
That's creepy. I think God would agree that He doesn't want to be shed in that light. Sounds like quite the omnipresent creeper.
But it's as close of a description of the moment as I can recall. Hard to put an attribute to the divine.
I was going to go to Mizzou to become a journalist. For some reason I like to write... Which is hard to believe, since every time I get excited about writing and logging my thoughts I get one week into the process and quit. Maybe my life is just too boring. Maybe I just hold too much in my head all the time. I've always found release in telling stories. I guess I think that maybe if I can help those who can't tell their stories get their hearts out there, then maybe mine will go with them. Some kind of weird writing missionary style, I suppose.
I find it funny that the Bible was presented to us in word form. In the form of a Book... a grand story that tells an unique and compelling story that no one seems to be able to comprehend. Two thousand or so years of people sitting down, reading, praying and pleading to be shown the true meaning behind the Bible, and yet no one can seem to give anyone else a solid answer.
A book is bound and has a definite beginning and end. A physical barrier that says "This is it. There is no more." But the grand story of the Christian life goes on past the leather binding. It pours out of our hands and mouths and flows ahead and behind us. As we live it flows from us, and it begins to meet and blend in with the other stories around it, making one continuous flow of narrative. Each person is the main character in their own book, yet a minor character in each other's. But Christ remains as the binding and glue that brings all the pages together, places them in order and creates the story. There was definitely a beginning.... but will there ever be an end to the story? I hope not.
I don't want my story to read like the Missouri Fishing License Manual.
I want my story to read like that part in Harry Potter where.... well... where you couldn't put it down, for fear of missing out on what would happen next. For those moments where the characters are alive and breathing, and shutting the book would, in essence, kill them. Kill the story....
Ethan just came in here from the other room. Looks like he is going to sleep out here. I wonder what's on his mind.
"Is SBU everything you thought it would be?"
"The food sucks, but I like it here."
I smile. That's about how I would sum it up I suppose. It sure is interesting here. Going from Tyler and I... to Higher Ground and Justin Goodwin.... to Jan Term with Ramen Noodles and Fallout 3... to Saturday lunch at McDonalds with Andy.... to Trevor and Ethan coming.... to Newspapers and Communication... to Florida... to the lake... to now....
To the future.
Hard to think that I'll be sleeping in a bed in a dorm room in Georgia a week from now. I'm incredibly excited, but even more terrified. I feel a sense of responsibility and power that I haven't felt before. Like these kids that I'll be living life with this summer have something to say to me... to this nation. I hope that I can help them spread it.
I'm excited to see the west. The mountains call to me for some reason. Maybe it's the Seattle journalist writer thing... I guess when it rains you have no other choice but to read. A lot. And once you finish reading all there is to read, all you can do is write more books to read.
I want my book to stay open. I don't want to shut it or end it, because I'm not good at writing endings.
Guess I have to keep writing then.
Dang. I'm going to bed.
Sunday, April 11, 2010
They Say The Sky's The Limit... But The Sky's About To Fall
Saturday's in Bolivar never seem to disappoint. Or at least, never seem to provide you with experiences that make you stay up at night and write out your thoughts. Whatever...
Today's adventures all began with a bike ride. Around 10:30 I awoke with the desire to take my bike all the way to somewhere. Unsure of what "somewhere" should be, I just decided to go. I rode all the way through the center of town, with the sounds of Deas Vail and The Low Anthem encouraging me to continue. As I passed the statue of Simon Bolivar, the town's hero, I wondered what he would think if he was to come back to life in this day and age, to find his likeness erected between a bank and an auto parts store. Definitely fitting for an explorer/conqueror type. Would he go nuts and throw a car through the bank?
Around that time I began to enter a most interesting part of town, an area that I had never been to until that moment. On the left side of the street were a few trailer homes, and some houses that looked as though about 10 years of garbage had erupted from the windows and doors, and now littered the yards. On my right was a house that seemed quite too big and fancy for anyone in Bolivar to live in. This pattern continued for a long while, and I tried to ride the middle of the road, trying to stay in my middle-class white American subclass category.
I wonder if those people ever meet in the middle of the road to talk about the day's events, or to trade handyman or cooking tips?
A little later I found myself in the park, where all of Bolivar it seemed was out and about, enjoying the beautiful day. I rode around the bend, and continued on around the lake. It always seems like there is a birthday party going on over there. I pulled over and took a break by the water, watching couples and families walk by. A small child across the lake approached a goose and almost lost his hand in the ensuing attack. Poor guy.
I try, as often as I can, to take in the world around me. I watch the people walking by, and wonder what kind of life they have led, what experiences they have had. Have they struggled? Have they felt victory? Have they ever stopped by a lake during a bike trip and contemplated the meaning of life?
I raced my thoughts back to the dorm, but they ended up beating me there, as they usually do. But one thing is for sure.
Life is a story, always unfolding. And we are writing the pages each day.
There's my 2 am wisdom. Feels like I just type until my brain shuts down.
Which is now.
Here's a picture.
Today's adventures all began with a bike ride. Around 10:30 I awoke with the desire to take my bike all the way to somewhere. Unsure of what "somewhere" should be, I just decided to go. I rode all the way through the center of town, with the sounds of Deas Vail and The Low Anthem encouraging me to continue. As I passed the statue of Simon Bolivar, the town's hero, I wondered what he would think if he was to come back to life in this day and age, to find his likeness erected between a bank and an auto parts store. Definitely fitting for an explorer/conqueror type. Would he go nuts and throw a car through the bank?
Around that time I began to enter a most interesting part of town, an area that I had never been to until that moment. On the left side of the street were a few trailer homes, and some houses that looked as though about 10 years of garbage had erupted from the windows and doors, and now littered the yards. On my right was a house that seemed quite too big and fancy for anyone in Bolivar to live in. This pattern continued for a long while, and I tried to ride the middle of the road, trying to stay in my middle-class white American subclass category.
I wonder if those people ever meet in the middle of the road to talk about the day's events, or to trade handyman or cooking tips?
A little later I found myself in the park, where all of Bolivar it seemed was out and about, enjoying the beautiful day. I rode around the bend, and continued on around the lake. It always seems like there is a birthday party going on over there. I pulled over and took a break by the water, watching couples and families walk by. A small child across the lake approached a goose and almost lost his hand in the ensuing attack. Poor guy.
I try, as often as I can, to take in the world around me. I watch the people walking by, and wonder what kind of life they have led, what experiences they have had. Have they struggled? Have they felt victory? Have they ever stopped by a lake during a bike trip and contemplated the meaning of life?
I raced my thoughts back to the dorm, but they ended up beating me there, as they usually do. But one thing is for sure.
Life is a story, always unfolding. And we are writing the pages each day.
There's my 2 am wisdom. Feels like I just type until my brain shuts down.
Which is now.
Here's a picture.
Saturday, March 27, 2010
"You speak your thoughts aloud in a stream without much thinking beforehand"
God is one crazy dude.
I mean, in the grand scheme of things, it seems like we often fail to realize how much He is truly involved in our lives in an extremely personal way.
For me lately, God does not reside in writing, in lifestyles, in the classes we take or the countless Christian books we read and collect. My bookshelf is full to the brim of various christian authors and wordsmiths who have the ability to describe God's love in an incredible way. My iPod is full of worship leaders and christian artists who use their music and songwriting to paint a picture of a faith that I want to live out. My fridge in my dorm room is not full of beer. I kissed a girl once and felt incredibly awkward and guilty. I have a half-written journal of thoughts and prayers that have yet to be finished or answered. My time is full of different duties that I take on in hope that one day I will make enough people happy with me that they will love me.
I've begun to realize that I cannot put my finger on the idea of a God. No matter how much I read or listen or pray or go to church, I still feel no closer to figuring Him out. Sure, I feel like I'm a bit closer to understanding how to get what I want in life by spiritual manipulation, but when my head hits the pillow, I'm already preparing my back up plans for the next day's failures.
These things I've encountered in the last year. I watched my family be torn apart by infidelity and lies. I watched a tear fall down the face of the most beautiful girl I've ever met when I let her go. I walked away from a degree that I put half of my college experience in. I said goodbye to a best friend as she left for another school in Texas. I screamed at God while kneeling in the snow as my walls of safety and security fell down around me.
I also reconciled the past with a best friend, and then took a 24 hour trip with him across the country. I took on a job that allows me to talk to 90 different people a night. I acquired a position that allows me to tell the stories of students who want to make a difference with their creative passions. I had the first real conversation with my father that I can remember having in a long time. I rejoiced in Christ as I realized that he had bought a bible and was starting to attend church.
I stood on an elevator today and talked to a kindly old woman who smiled at me when I told her I was visiting my grandma. I looked into her eyes, eyes that were full of the stories that come of a long life of living. Pain, joy, suffering, victory, all things that create an epic story... all contained in that small package. A woman who's life could have affected countless others. A woman who's life may have, in a grandiose sense, may have affected my being alive today.
Every day the sun comes up and goes down. Terrible decisions lead to miraculous events years later. What if the terrible things that happen to us are not so terrible after all? What if when we suffer, we are actually existing just as we are supposed to, so that later on in life something amazing can happen?
What if an abusive husband can lead to a divorce that leads to a marriage that leads to a son being born who marries a woman who bears a son who now sits here and writes these words?
What if we began looking at our failures and mess-ups as divine intervention?
Might shake things up a bit.
Hmmmm...
I mean, in the grand scheme of things, it seems like we often fail to realize how much He is truly involved in our lives in an extremely personal way.
For me lately, God does not reside in writing, in lifestyles, in the classes we take or the countless Christian books we read and collect. My bookshelf is full to the brim of various christian authors and wordsmiths who have the ability to describe God's love in an incredible way. My iPod is full of worship leaders and christian artists who use their music and songwriting to paint a picture of a faith that I want to live out. My fridge in my dorm room is not full of beer. I kissed a girl once and felt incredibly awkward and guilty. I have a half-written journal of thoughts and prayers that have yet to be finished or answered. My time is full of different duties that I take on in hope that one day I will make enough people happy with me that they will love me.
I've begun to realize that I cannot put my finger on the idea of a God. No matter how much I read or listen or pray or go to church, I still feel no closer to figuring Him out. Sure, I feel like I'm a bit closer to understanding how to get what I want in life by spiritual manipulation, but when my head hits the pillow, I'm already preparing my back up plans for the next day's failures.
These things I've encountered in the last year. I watched my family be torn apart by infidelity and lies. I watched a tear fall down the face of the most beautiful girl I've ever met when I let her go. I walked away from a degree that I put half of my college experience in. I said goodbye to a best friend as she left for another school in Texas. I screamed at God while kneeling in the snow as my walls of safety and security fell down around me.
I also reconciled the past with a best friend, and then took a 24 hour trip with him across the country. I took on a job that allows me to talk to 90 different people a night. I acquired a position that allows me to tell the stories of students who want to make a difference with their creative passions. I had the first real conversation with my father that I can remember having in a long time. I rejoiced in Christ as I realized that he had bought a bible and was starting to attend church.
I stood on an elevator today and talked to a kindly old woman who smiled at me when I told her I was visiting my grandma. I looked into her eyes, eyes that were full of the stories that come of a long life of living. Pain, joy, suffering, victory, all things that create an epic story... all contained in that small package. A woman who's life could have affected countless others. A woman who's life may have, in a grandiose sense, may have affected my being alive today.
Every day the sun comes up and goes down. Terrible decisions lead to miraculous events years later. What if the terrible things that happen to us are not so terrible after all? What if when we suffer, we are actually existing just as we are supposed to, so that later on in life something amazing can happen?
What if an abusive husband can lead to a divorce that leads to a marriage that leads to a son being born who marries a woman who bears a son who now sits here and writes these words?
What if we began looking at our failures and mess-ups as divine intervention?
Might shake things up a bit.
Hmmmm...
Friday, March 19, 2010
Sunday, February 21, 2010
In Last Weeks News....
What began as a simple method of fund raising for a mission trip to the Philippines has turned into quite the college ministry for freshman Katie Selby.
Selby, a biology and pre-med major, will be taking a two month medical mission trip to the Phillipine village of Butuan City and is using her gifts and passions to earn the money needed to get there.
Selby's "Labor of Love" began in December of last year as a non-profit project when she began to sew and knit clothing such as scarves, hats, gloves and handbags to earn money to support her trip.
Since then, she has seen an amazing response to her hand-made clothing, and has even created a website allowing visitors to see what pieces she has for sell and also order various items.
Selby says that she has wanted to get involved with medical missions, and upon searching for opportunities to serve, came across an opportunity overseas in the Philippines with the International Mission Board.
"They are poor, and it isn't because they aren't doing something about it," said Selby. "It's not a lack of resources that is the problem, but a lack of options."
She says that when she was searching for opportunities to serve, the trip to the Philippines was the only one available to her, but after learning more she now knows that this is where God wants her to go.
Selby's unique creations can be seen being worn by many across campus, and the new styles are not an SBU fashion alone.
In January, Selby took her pieces to an art show in Jefferson City, known as "Let Your Love Grow Tall." The event, which showcases artists and musicians, allowed Selby to tell her story and display her items and speak about her upcoming trip to the Philippines.
She plans to attend another similar event in March, but says that she is so blessed by the support on the SBU campus.
"There is no other way I would rather be making my things," said Selby. "I love that what I make is worn by other people, and for a good cause."
What started as a small project has given her the opportunity to minister to her fellow peers.
"I am not exactly sure where Labor of Love will go after the Philippines..." said Selby. "For right now, though, I would like to use whatever I can to tell people about the need there and maybe raise money for my trip along the way."
So far, Selby has raised nearly $300 from the sales of her pieces.
She encourages anyone interested in helping with her efforts to serve in the Philippines to donate monetarily or to purchase one of her clothing pieces at her website http://alaboroflove.tumblr.com/ or join her "Labor of Love" Facebook page. She can also be reached for orders at alabor_of_love@yahoo.com.
Angels and Airwaves discover LOVE
Greater love knows no band than this, than they who would give out their newest album for free.
Angles and Airwaves, the alternative rock band led by Blink-182 guitarist and vocalist Tom DeLonge released their third studio album "LOVE" Sunday, and as a Valentine's gift for their fans, they gave it away for free.
According to an interview in Entertainment Weekly, DeLonge stated that "I consider this, at this point, the pinnacle release of my life. There's nothing that I have put more effort, more time, more heart, and more stress into than this release."
Production on LOVE began in January of 2009, but due to DeLonge's former band Blink-182's reuniting and subsequent tour, completion was a slow process.
The album's original release date of Christmas 2009 was pushed back until Valentines Day. Due to what the band calls "corporate underwriting issues," the album is being released free of charge, and, according to DeLonge, "One hundred percent free of corporation."
From start to finish the album is a rush of driving rock music accompanied by computerized loops and drum beats.
The lyrics question the human emotions of love and desire, the feelings of betrayal and victory, and ideas of God and fate.
When asked about the movement of the songs, DeLonge states that "There's a lot of interludes and segues that draw you in and transition you to different levels of excitement."
A film adaptation of the album, also known as LOVE, is also in the works, and is slated for a theatrical release.
The film follows the story of an astronaut who is abandoned inside the International Space Station, and must watch as the Earth below him disappears. The film deals with the themes of personal discovery and realization found in the record.
When asked about going under financially without the aid of label or cost, DeLonge simply said "We personally went $500,000 in the hole on this album. But I believe music should be free."
A moving and driving album, Angels and Airwaves has taken a gamble with releasing this work without a record label and without a price tag, but DeLonge says "Artistically, I think this record has far exceeded anywhere I've been. So I'm just quietly anticipating Sunday's release and hoping for the best."
A free download of the album can be found on the social networking site that DeLonge co-founded, known as modlife.com, and also through www.angelsandairwaves.com
Angles and Airwaves, the alternative rock band led by Blink-182 guitarist and vocalist Tom DeLonge released their third studio album "LOVE" Sunday, and as a Valentine's gift for their fans, they gave it away for free.
According to an interview in Entertainment Weekly, DeLonge stated that "I consider this, at this point, the pinnacle release of my life. There's nothing that I have put more effort, more time, more heart, and more stress into than this release."
Production on LOVE began in January of 2009, but due to DeLonge's former band Blink-182's reuniting and subsequent tour, completion was a slow process.
The album's original release date of Christmas 2009 was pushed back until Valentines Day. Due to what the band calls "corporate underwriting issues," the album is being released free of charge, and, according to DeLonge, "One hundred percent free of corporation."
From start to finish the album is a rush of driving rock music accompanied by computerized loops and drum beats.
The lyrics question the human emotions of love and desire, the feelings of betrayal and victory, and ideas of God and fate.
When asked about the movement of the songs, DeLonge states that "There's a lot of interludes and segues that draw you in and transition you to different levels of excitement."
A film adaptation of the album, also known as LOVE, is also in the works, and is slated for a theatrical release.
The film follows the story of an astronaut who is abandoned inside the International Space Station, and must watch as the Earth below him disappears. The film deals with the themes of personal discovery and realization found in the record.
When asked about going under financially without the aid of label or cost, DeLonge simply said "We personally went $500,000 in the hole on this album. But I believe music should be free."
A moving and driving album, Angels and Airwaves has taken a gamble with releasing this work without a record label and without a price tag, but DeLonge says "Artistically, I think this record has far exceeded anywhere I've been. So I'm just quietly anticipating Sunday's release and hoping for the best."
A free download of the album can be found on the social networking site that DeLonge co-founded, known as modlife.com, and also through www.angelsandairwaves.com
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
What a crazy week! New Omnibus will be out on Wednesday, February 24!
Brad
Thursday, February 11, 2010
Saturday, January 2, 2010
A New Story
I guess I tend to believe I'm pretty smart. Or that I have some deep, inane insight into the way the world works that others don't seem to have. Or, perhaps I was born different, wired in such a way that I often find myself stopping to observe the beauty of the world around me in a way that causes me to wonder at the true meaning of the universe.
Or perhaps I'm arrogant, believing myself to be some prophet of a higher calling than those around me. That my life is meant to leave a mark on this Earth, a sort of cosmic indention that will cause the foundations of society to shake, and cause people to stop their day to day routine lives to grab a hold of a pillar of life and purpose and cling to it for dear life.
I want to open eyes, but often come to realize that I have kept my own shut.
As the year drew to a close, I found myself sitting in a Taco Bell drive-thru, ordering a celebratory taco and Mountain Dew. Coming from my speakers was a soft Sufjan Stevens melody, and sitting above my radio on the dashboard staring back at me was a cotton-ball Polar Bear named Oh, Definitely!
As I pulled up to the window, and handed over my money to receive my food and drink. The man at the window handed me my goods with a smile, and a "Have a great night!" I smiled back, and glancing at my clock, I noticed the time was 12:00. The New Year had begun while I was sitting in a Taco Bell drive through. Not exactly a hoorah kind of way to ring in the new year, but that is how things go, I suppose. I turned back to the man to wish him a happy new year, but he was gone, I guessed having returned to the back of the store to continue closing. I'm sure he was eager to get home to celebrate the new year with his significant others as well.
As I drove off, I pulled onto the road to head towards home. As I pulled onto the highway I began to climb a hill. The song playing on my radio had begun a rising chorus. I rose over the crest of the road and in the distance ahead, a flurry of fireworks exploded in the sky.
It's moments like these that prove to me yet again that life is not a quest of self-actualization. It is not a journey of full potential. It's not even about getting it all right. Life has shown itself to me as a story, an infinite novel expounding on the Bible. A story of God's people living life as best they know, although flawed, and the beautiful intervention of Christ into their lives at just the right moments to bring them from destruction and teach them a lesson about the unfathomable.
2009 was a year full of adventure and self-discovery, full of mountains and valleys of all shapes and sizes. But more than those experiences themselves, I remember most the times I sat in silence with God, thinking back on the events that had occurred through the year, and God opening my eyes to new ideas and beautiful images.
I've learned that God's divinity is not in verses we memorize, or the songs we sing, or even in the services on Sunday morning. His true nature becomes reality in those times we share with each other. When we suffer, celebrate, mourn, or simply sit in silence, His glory is displayed to us and through us. Through the stories we create with each other, and in the stories we tell each other.
My prayer for this new year is that stories abound. That we take joy in each moment of life, such a simple and small gift that it is, and that we share our joy and sorrow with one another. That we take time out of our own lives to interact with the lives of those around us, and that we begin to see God through the experiences of this journey we call "life".
What does it all mean? Let's find out.
Good luck, 2010.
Or perhaps I'm arrogant, believing myself to be some prophet of a higher calling than those around me. That my life is meant to leave a mark on this Earth, a sort of cosmic indention that will cause the foundations of society to shake, and cause people to stop their day to day routine lives to grab a hold of a pillar of life and purpose and cling to it for dear life.
I want to open eyes, but often come to realize that I have kept my own shut.
As the year drew to a close, I found myself sitting in a Taco Bell drive-thru, ordering a celebratory taco and Mountain Dew. Coming from my speakers was a soft Sufjan Stevens melody, and sitting above my radio on the dashboard staring back at me was a cotton-ball Polar Bear named Oh, Definitely!
As I pulled up to the window, and handed over my money to receive my food and drink. The man at the window handed me my goods with a smile, and a "Have a great night!" I smiled back, and glancing at my clock, I noticed the time was 12:00. The New Year had begun while I was sitting in a Taco Bell drive through. Not exactly a hoorah kind of way to ring in the new year, but that is how things go, I suppose. I turned back to the man to wish him a happy new year, but he was gone, I guessed having returned to the back of the store to continue closing. I'm sure he was eager to get home to celebrate the new year with his significant others as well.
As I drove off, I pulled onto the road to head towards home. As I pulled onto the highway I began to climb a hill. The song playing on my radio had begun a rising chorus. I rose over the crest of the road and in the distance ahead, a flurry of fireworks exploded in the sky.
Lamb of God, we sound the horn.A smile broke across my face. It seemed God had decided to put on a magical collision of good feelings moment. I'd take it. It was beautiful.
Hallelujah!
To us your ghost is born.
Hallelujah!
It's moments like these that prove to me yet again that life is not a quest of self-actualization. It is not a journey of full potential. It's not even about getting it all right. Life has shown itself to me as a story, an infinite novel expounding on the Bible. A story of God's people living life as best they know, although flawed, and the beautiful intervention of Christ into their lives at just the right moments to bring them from destruction and teach them a lesson about the unfathomable.
2009 was a year full of adventure and self-discovery, full of mountains and valleys of all shapes and sizes. But more than those experiences themselves, I remember most the times I sat in silence with God, thinking back on the events that had occurred through the year, and God opening my eyes to new ideas and beautiful images.
I've learned that God's divinity is not in verses we memorize, or the songs we sing, or even in the services on Sunday morning. His true nature becomes reality in those times we share with each other. When we suffer, celebrate, mourn, or simply sit in silence, His glory is displayed to us and through us. Through the stories we create with each other, and in the stories we tell each other.
My prayer for this new year is that stories abound. That we take joy in each moment of life, such a simple and small gift that it is, and that we share our joy and sorrow with one another. That we take time out of our own lives to interact with the lives of those around us, and that we begin to see God through the experiences of this journey we call "life".
What does it all mean? Let's find out.
Good luck, 2010.
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