The Heart Of Worship

(Originally written on March 8, 2008)

“And here’s a cool God moment. During the song Center i couldn’t sing it because it hadn’t been true of my life at late and so I just spent that song in repentance and prayer. and then at then at the end the Bridge said “majesty! Finally!” and it reminded me of that passage in John 16 when Jesus says “Finally, you believe!”"

Reminds me why I do what I love to do. Leading worship has been a huge part of my walk as of late, and God has graciously allowed opportunities for me to be in front of his people, and help lead myself and the people around me to God. But even more than praying that those singing around me meet God, each time I lead God draws me into Him… shows me something I had never seen or thought before. Shows you that when you think you have it all figured out, you are barely scratching the surface of life… Music. If there is one thing all people around the world can agree on, it’s that music has always invaded every part of every culture.

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I wrote that first paragraph about 4 months ago. Yet somehow I never seemed to finish it. Why didn’t I ever seem to return and put the rest of the story on here? Perhaps it was because I did not have the words that I needed to express my feelings. Entering into Gods presence…sitting at God’s throne has a weird way of doing that to a person. The feelings we get when we are in tune with the song God is singing in our lives tend to be so powerful, so absorbing, that putting language - an often flawed attempt at human communication - to it does not do it justice. It never can. All we can do is hope to begin to scratch the surface of the endless expanse of God’s throne, and then try to express it to others.

Higher Ground began. My life changed. For the first time in a long time, I feel that I have entered into God’s presence again, and it is beautiful. The ministry is beautiful, and it is relevant. As Jesus said - “The harvest if full, the workers few.” I really wish I could tell you all of my thought processes lately. The dreams, desires, fears and pains that have pierced my heart and soul have almost been too much to bear. Honestly, I’m exhausted. Luckily, I can lay down at night and know that God will wake me up in the morning again to His glory, and that He is bringing me back to life again.

The faces. The faces I see as I see people worship may be what draws me to it. Or perhaps it is the stories. Then again, maybe it’s the tears. The tears of joy as God reaches through the boundaries and breaks down the walls, and reaches the sinner’s heart. The Spirit flowing during open and honest worship has a way of bringing out the broken hearts in people. When you hear that story of the unsaved father, of the suicide victim, of the ongoing physical abuse - God begins to place upon your heart a longing to love on that person. To show them that unconditional love, let them know that they are not alone - that God is right there with them. Worship has that power. God has that power.

I feel like a disciple much of the time. I get it. I don’t. I get it. I don’t. All the while Jesus continues to say “Don’t you get it? I came here to SAVE YOUR LIFE! NOW LIVE!” I feel as though I have been running from Him, running in fear that I do not have the ability to do what my heart desires. I feel like I spend more time crying out for forgiveness and guidance than actually thanking Him for what He has already done.

I want to bring joy.

I want to be used by God.

I want to glorify God with my whole life.

When did surrendering it all become so difficult?

The song goes on…

Like A Child

December 30, 2007 • No Comments (Edit)

Growing up.

It happens. To everyone at some point in their lives. At some point we all end up looking into that mirror of life and realizing that we aren’t 10 years old anymore… We come to the realization that we don’t have the time to take 3 hour naps whenever we feel tired. That we are responsible for finding clothes and dressing ourselves. That when we spill the milk or fall down… there isn’t always going to be a mom or dad to pick us up and mop up the mess for us. That when I walk down the aisle at the store, and the newest glittery “thing” catches my eye, I say “I want that!” outloud… but no one is there to say “Okay… we can get it.”

Scary thought, right?

Society puts so much stress on “growing up”. Remember those old diaper commercials that show the little kid with the high-tech diaper? And all the while there is the little jingle in the background - “I’m-a-big-kid-now!” The thought in my head used to be “When I’m 13, and an adult, I’m gonna do this… I’m gonna cure this…” Yet here I am, 5 years past that change-the-world deadline, and what have I accomplished? Nothing much but accrue quite a bit of debt.

Why do we wish away our childhood?

I spent last saturday with one of the most simple people I know. He has no debt, no self-esteem problems, doesn’t worry about his weight, doesn’t keep up with the latest gossip and news. Politics do not sway him, terrorism doesn’t scare him, risks do not stop him. If he sees what he wants… He goes and gets it, no matter the consequence or worth to himself. And he does it all, everyday, with a smile. And he’s been at it for three years now.

Ah, I mean three and a half years. Excuse me.

Spending the day with my little cousin Jack opened my eyes to life. Life untainted by greed, fear, and pride. This little guy has two basic needs - food and love. And the most amazing part of it is - He doesn’t worry about where he is going to get it from next. He expects it without doubt. He knows that his mommy and daddy are going to be there for him, no matter what. He knows that he need merely to say one garbled word - and they will be there in an instant to sweep him into their arms and give him whatever needs, no strings attached.

Sound familiar? It should. Lets take a look real quick…

Mark 10: 13 - 16

And they were bringing children to Him so that He might touch them; but the disciples rebuked them But when Jesus saw this, He was indignant and said to them, “Permit the children to come to Me; do not hinder them; for the kingdom of God belongs to such as these. “Truly I say to you, whoever does not receive the kingdom of God like a child will not enter it at all.” And He took them in His arms and began blessing them, laying His hands on them.

Once again… God paints us a beautiful picture of life through His son Jesus. Imagine the picture - Jesus Christ, sitting there surrounded by his disciples. Sitting in front of Jesus, hanging on his every word - people of the town or village where He is hanging out, people who have been following him from town to town - all sitting and waiting for the next miracle or miraculous lesson Jesus will teach them. As they are waiting, people begin to bring their children to Jesus, seeking His blessing. Now, if you are like me, you know that kids can be quite a nuisance at times… especially when you are trying to focus on something that you find important, or have given something up to see. (Ever been interrupted at a movie or concert by a baby crying? Then you know where I’m coming from.)

As the disciples get up to tell the people with the children to go away for the time being, Jesus sees this and interrupts them, telling them all that the children deserve heaven more than any person in attendance at that time. He literally tells the people that unless they become like these tiny children, they will have no hope of entering heaven. Now I know people who spend their entire lives trying to understand exactly what Jesus meant in His teachings, but I think the message is quite simple here.

Unless we, as self-proclaimed “believers” in Christ, become like the small children we see around us everyday, we will have NO chance at entering heaven. Jesus says this. Its pretty dang clear. No fuzzy edges, no metaphors or hidden meanings. Become like children. This commandeth Me-eth.

Now, I’m certainly not going to go grab my bib and pacifier, and begin to lay around waiting for someone to take care of me. I believe that Christ calls us to the deepest point of faith of all in this lesson. Have faith. Complete faith. Have fun in this life - knowing full well that at the simplest whine from our lips, God will be there to lift us up. He will always teach us lessons, and we may get boo-boos, but Christ will always lift us up in His arms and kiss it until its better.

And as I sat around playing with Jack that day, I began to realize that truth. He didn’t even know me very well. For all he knows, I could have been a mean bad guy. But that was no matter to him, I was willing to play with him. I was willing to enjoy pure joy with him, and he held nothing back. He wanted me to enjoy life with him, to have fun knowing that there is nothing to worry about, nothing to fear, because as soon as something scary happens, Dad will be there to make it go away.

I want to have that kind of faith. I want to be able to wake up each morning, not worrying about what I will do, what I will wear, what I will eat, and simply accept that God is taking care of everything. I want to have such a deep longing for Him, that no matter what, I will never miss a chance to cling to Dad. I want to be just like my dad.

Thats my prayer. For you and me.

Thanks for listening.

God bless