Late Night Musings - 15

For those of you who are looking for a thought-provoking word of thought....or... uh... provoking...

Well, you came to the wrong place.


I went to CNN.com tonight, as I often do when there is something important to be done, such as work, or homework, or workhome...... and on the front page, plastered across my is a picture of a mosquito - with the following words in bold above it.

SCIENTISTS CREATE LASER GUN TO KILL MOSQUITOES.
Scientists in the U.S. are developing a laser gun that could kill millions of mosquitoes in minutes. The laser, which has been dubbed a "weapon of mosquito destruction" fires at mosquitoes once it detects the audio frequency created by the beating of its wings. The laser beam then destroys the mosquito, burning it on the spot.



Now, this is on the front page of CNN.com.

CNN.

DotCom.


Really? THIS is headline news? Now, I understand that many are plagued by our our flying brethren, and they haven't really done much to benefit us as humans, other than eating other pesky... things... But really?

Really? Is this what it has come down to? There are children being murdered in foreign countries... people are starving to death... there are millions of people dying each day in a world that COULD be saved by one of the greatest countries in the world... and this is what we find appropriate to put on our front page?





I'm going to change it. Now THIS would make for front page news.

MOSQUITOES CREATE LASER GUN TO KILL SCIENTISTS
Mosquitoes in the U.S. are developing a laser gun that could kill millions of scientists in minutes. The laser, which has been dubbed a "weapon of scientific destruction" fires at scientists once it detects the audio frequency created by the beating of its test tubes. The laser beam then destroys the scientist, burning it on the spot.



Now THAT is a crisis worth a front page view.


I'm just sayin'

Late Night Musings - 14 (Post-Band Tour)

<12:45>

So here I sit... exhausted. A three-day tour from Sunday night to Tuesday night can really do you in... But I did learn a few things, and I thought I would share them with you.

1. Never let an opportunity to have fun in a random grocery store go to waste.
Sometimes you have to go against the socially acceptable norms to enjoy life. Why tiptoe through life just to get to death safely? Take time to try on EVERY pair of sunglasses. Look for the uncomfortable greeting cards and show them to as many girls as possible. Find the tub of Bartlett pears and walk around with them, hoping that someone realizes that your ancestors may have invented pears. Make an holy ephod out of cans of beans and worship it. Find a bag of sugar, find someone, and ask them if you can give them some sugar. If you see a giant arrow pointing to a button, and said button says "PUSH" on it - Push the thing, even if you don't need assistance. Then, after all the damage possible is done, leave the store, buying nothing. If you didn't leave them with your money, you at least left them your heart.

2. Don't be ashamed to take a bag of Taco Bell and a burger from McDonalds into Wendys.

3. What happens at the hotel at night, stays in the hotel at night.
Even if your friends girlfriend is watching your group of friends play a fun game, what is heard and said in that room stays in that room. Until you walk out of the room and tell the first person you see. Hooray.

4. If you have a problem with your bro, tell him.
Nothing makes a trip more awkward than pushing the conflict under the rug. If you wronged someone, apologize. If they want to talk, talk to them. Then smile, remember that life is worth more than the drama that arises, and high-five them. Chances are, in about 15 minutes you two will be laughing again as if nothing bad happened.

5. Candy is a great encourager.
You don't always have to say wise words of wisdom to people, and tell them that they great and amazing to help them out. Sometimes a smile, and an offer of candy can make someones day. I know it made mine.

6. Don't leave your pants at the school you just performed.
Because when you have to go back to the school to get them, how strange will it be for the poor high school students who have to see you walk in with no pants on? And we wonder why there are so many problems with today's youth...

7. Victorias Secret isn't as bad as it seems.
Nothing tells a girl "Hey, I'm not only sensitive enough to your feelings to help you shop, but I am manly enough to smell the perfume also. No, I don't mind holding that. How small ARE these? Good grief. I'm still confused as to how you wear this. What?! No! I mean... yeah.... I'm cool with that.... uh.... No, no, no! She's totally ugly, you look so much better than her! Seriously! No, I didn't mean it like THAT!" like stepping into Victorias Secret and enjoying the moment.

8. When you think you hear tornado sirens, check the T.V before alerting and panicking an entire hallway of people.
But seriously, I did hear them. I swear.




On a more serious note.... I did realize a couple important things.

Live life, and don't be afraid to put it out on the line. Life is too short to worry about what tomorrow holds, and if you will make it there or not. Like I heard someone say the other day - "Don't fear tomorrow, because God's already there." Can you imagine life if this were lived out? Realizing that each day is a gift, and that each day holds it's very own opportunites for you to touch and change lives in a thousand different ways, many of which we don't ever know about. Living life fully surrendered to God... letting Him handle the problems and watching Him make glory from your struggles. It's beautiful.

Tell those you care about that you... care about them. Even if it feels like you are hitting a brick wall, something will stick when you show unconditional love. Even if it just means being there, letting them know that you love them regardless of how they treat you, will go great lengths to save someones soul from the despair it is in.




In what could have been seen by many as a worthless trip, and a huge waste of time, I saw life. I watched people become themselves and show their true feelings about things. Even if it is forced, it is beautiful to watch a group of people from so many different backgrounds come together to pull of a life-changing event. These are the kinds of things that stick with you for a long time. I enjoyed living it with all of you who were there, and I hope that you did too.

Well... I feel like I've rambled on forever, and my eyes are barely staying open. Time to sleep...

Brad





Oh yeah, one last bit of wisdom-

It never hurts to tell your deepest secrets and desires to a stuffed bear....



<1:17>

Late Night Musings 13

<12:32>

I want to write a song.

But why? Why do I want to write a song?



Do I do it for the accolades?

I've always had dreams of being the "star". To be the guy up on the stage who looks out over the mass of people and smiles. The guy who turns up the amplifier to 12 (two notches past possible), and listen to the electric hum of glory. To take the cheap piece of manufactured plastic shaped like a tear-drop and with it bring about a revolution. To listen to the first chord, the screams of fans, of fireworks going off. To let go and live.

At some point in my life I decided that I wanted to be worshiped. That I somehow deserved to be on top, to be wanted, needed, loved. That the point of life was to become the object of WANT from others. From myself. To be accepted.

Accepted... because, well, I'm broken. I'm not who I want, not who I am mean to become. I have spent the last twenty years of my life yearning to BECOME more than I am. I have this desire deep in my soul to get what I am supposed to have.




I recall a story from my preschool days.

Every day in preschool we would have group story time. A sort of assembly of all the snot-nosed ruffians in the building (there were probably a hundred or so) and a teacher would read a story or two to the class.

One day, I decided I had had it. I was done being "one of the kids", of being the same as everyone else. With dignity, I stood up. With confidence I unzipped my pants.

And with all the heart and soul my 4 year-old body could muster, I mooned the entire room.


Having shown my bare end to 50+ small, now possibly traumatized children, I was quickly removed from the room and taken to the director's office to face my ultimate punishment. The details from here get blurry, but I do remember sitting outside that office door feeling GOOD.




I wonder if there are like, 40 or so twenty year old's sitting in therapy right now, being treated for schizophrenic episodes because of my act of rebellion. Mission accomplished.





Nowadays that need of appreciation and love manifests itself in different ways. Now instead of whiny four year olds, I find myself pitted against the forces of love. Friends, family, significant others, all on the battlefield of my war for acceptance. I've taken many people down, all at the hands of friendly fire, out of my own selfish desire.

But things change. Four years have passed since I began to talk to Jesus again, and since we started walking I've thought and struggled through these questions. I've met with the One who gives me that love and affection. And as any whore would, I tell Him I love Him and then run off to have my affair with the world. But a piece of the shell has fallen off. Light is shining through, and the power of Christ is breaking down my world, day by day.



Now I get up and take that plastic pick and strum that chord for a different revolution. Not for my kingdom, but for His. A battle cry for His nation, a war song for His Glory. A march for His soldiers, and a lament for Him who died for us. I am the opening act for the main stage performer - Jesus Christ.

And He plays with His amp turned up to 13.


<12:49>

Late Night Musings - 12

<2:01>

I was asked a curious question tonight... why do we live for the future? Let's think about the various things we say each day...

"One day I'll understand..."
"In the future I'll have it figured out..."
"Someday I'll look back..."
"I can't wait until...."
"I can only imagine what the next year will hold...."

It seems difficult to live for the day. We are a people driven to attain the "next" thing. We live our entire lives pushing for the new, the next, the unseen. But when we wake up the next day, we begin to plan tomorrow, think about what the weekend holds. When does it end?

Does tomorrow ever really come?

If we spend every day looking to tomorrow, how many useless yesterdays will have passed?

I wonder if Jesus spent more time thinking about the current day He was living in. I mean, the man knew he was going to die... and He was obviously distraught about it, but we only see Him truly "freaking" out about it the night before it happens. He even makes light of the fact that He is going to soon die to His best friends. Other than that He is seen doing as much as He can to make the most of the day He is living in. Maybe its because He knew His days were limited.

How much so are ours? We think we live forever, yet mortality comes fast. Why is it that I always see the old of the church trying to live each day with as much joy and love as possible? Why do children never make calendars or date-books to plan ahead? It seems I spend so much time planning out my future, that I have already missed it.

Once this post is done, I'm going to get into my bed and close my eyes, assuming that tomorrow will come a moment later. But what if it doesn't? Would today have been the pinnacle of my walk, my life?

Or is it even about ME?

<2:12>

Late Night Musings - 11

Well, another semester is upon us. Another 15 weeks of fun, excitement, overloaded homework, anxiety, change, love, hate, and possibly a little bit of late night Ramen noodles...

Across the room from me, Andy is trying to go to sleep. All of a sudden he asks "What are Valentines Day cards?".... "Valentines Dacartes is the son of Renee Decartes.", I reply.

"Whats the point?" He asks.

I thought about it...

You know, I don't know WHAT the point of them is. Perhaps it is a commercialized way of trying to gain world peace... or at least peace within the classroom you are handing them out in. I remember back when I used to give out cards. I would make one for EVERY person in class... yet there was always "that" girl that I put the extra time in. I made her's special... the best card, the coolest characters, I even wrote my own little message on it, even though they all came with messages already written on them.

Now it all looks like a scam. We lie to people, tell them we like and appreciate them, but for what? In hopes that we may get a valentines card with the same fake love back? Hoping that we will get as many little paper cards with animals and video game characters on them, proving to us that we have worth, that we are so valuable to someone that they took the time to make a card for us?

Andy is snoring. Funny how fast he falls asleep. I wonder if he was thinking about it as much as I am....

It's sad. If I could go back and give out cards again, I would tell each person that Christ loves them. That He put the special time into each card and wanted them to get that card and love it and cherish it the most.

Hmm... what a ramble...


Classes start in the morning. I'm excited, albeit a bit nervous as to what the next few months have in store for me. For all of us. So much has happened so fast. The world never stops moving, it's up to us to enjoy every minute of it.

Go out tomorrow and make the day special for someone. I'll see ya there.

Brad